What happened: the facts, questions, and feelings that need space.
Individual and Couples Therapy · Online across California
Individual and Couples Therapy
Whether you're working on a relationship with yourself &/or others, intimacy and self-esteem can grow, often creating more love and happiness in your life.
Start where you are
Does this sound familiar?
After betrayal or a long period of conflict, it can be difficult to know where to begin. You may both want clarity while feeling pulled toward blame, silence, or another argument. These experiences can be named without reducing either partner to a single moment or mistake.
Betrayal has changed the way you look at your partner and the relationship.
I can make room for the hurt, the questions, and the choices that need attention now.
Trust feels broken, and reassurance never seems to last.
I help you slow the conversation down so trust can be discussed through clear, honest steps.
The same fight keeps returning, even when you both want something different.
I can help you notice the pattern beneath the argument and practice a different way into the conversation.
You feel disconnected, lonely, or unsure how to reach each other again.
I can help you explore what each of you is protecting and what kind of closeness feels possible to practice.
Old relationship patterns keep taking over the present.
I help you separate what belongs to the past from what is actually happening between you today.
A couples-specific lens
Three places to slow the pattern down
What repeats: the cycle each partner recognizes but struggles to interrupt.
What comes next: a clear, responsible step that reflects the present relationship.
How Individual and Couples Therapy can help
Understanding the relationship in front of you
My work is informed by Object Relations, which in plain language means looking at how early relationships can shape the way we expect love, safety, conflict, and closeness to feel. During a hard moment, a partner can begin to seem all good or all bad. The work is to slow that split down, separate past expectations from present reality, and make room for a fuller picture of both people. Couples can learn to tolerate closeness and separateness: being connected without losing individual needs, and having space without treating space as abandonment.
Looking at patterns without making either partner the problem
Infidelity can bring shock, anger, grief, fear, and a need for information. Individual and Couples Therapy does not require either partner to arrive with a polished explanation. I can help create a steadier structure for the questions that need to be asked and the feelings that need to be heard, while keeping the conversation connected to what each person wants to understand or decide.
When arguments repeat, the visible topic is not always the whole story. One partner may press for reassurance while the other withdraws from the intensity. One may experience distance as rejection while the other experiences pursuit as pressure. Looking closely at this cycle can help both partners notice what they are doing, what they are expecting, and what happens next.
The work does not assign a winner or force a decision about the future. It creates a place where the relationship can be examined honestly. I can work with couples who are considering how to move forward after an affair, couples trying to understand whether trust can be rebuilt, and couples whose distress is not about infidelity but has become difficult to navigate alone.
Goals and growth
Goal Achievement with scientific-proven steps
I think of couples becoming healthier as a gradual climb. That does not mean reaching a perfect relationship. It means identifying the next part of the climb: a conversation that needs a different beginning, a boundary that needs to be stated clearly, or a moment when both partners can pause before an old response takes over.
You may talk about what happened, what each partner needs to know, how reassurance is communicated, and which patterns make repair harder to imagine. You may also talk about the parts of the relationship that still feel meaningful, the areas where you disagree, and the space each person needs to remain a whole person inside the partnership.
Progress can be uneven. Some conversations may feel more possible while others still carry a lot of charge. I can help you name those differences, practice language that is direct without being punishing, and decide what a responsible next step looks like for the two of you.
- A betrayal that keeps returning in the conversation
- Fear that honesty will create more distance
- Arguments that move quickly from one topic to another
- Difficulty asking for closeness or space directly
- Old expectations shaping the way present events are understood
- Uncertainty about what each partner wants next
Practical support
What Individual and Couples Therapy can help with
Online Individual and Couples Therapy may give you a structured place to explore:
- Infidelity and the questions that follow an affair
- Broken trust and repeated reassurance conversations
- Recurring fights and difficult communication patterns
- Emotional disconnection or loneliness inside the relationship
- Old patterns that keep shaping present-day conflict
Two backpacks
Why a licensed psychotherapist matters
A couples conversation can hold strong feelings, competing needs, and different versions of what happened. My psychotherapy training helps me attend to the relationship pattern as well as the individual experiences inside it. I can help keep the work thoughtful when the conversation becomes emotionally demanding.
I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works online with couples across California. I can discuss whether Individual and Couples Therapy, individual support, or a combination of conversations is the most appropriate place to begin based on what you want to address.
There is no required script for the first consultation. You can ask about infidelity counseling, rebuilding trust after an affair, marriage counseling online, or general relationship distress and learn more about how I work.
Related reading
Topics to Consider
Individual and Couples Therapy for a More Honest Connection
A reflection on difficult conversations, repair, accountability, and making room for a clearer next step together.
Does Psychotherapy Improve Self Worth? What can Change
A reflection on self-judgment, boundaries, and the personal patterns that can shape a relationship.
About the author
Lisa Lichtenstein, LMFT, CHT, NLP
I provide online psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and NLP for adults and couples located anywhere in California.
I am the author of two published books and completed six months of weekly TV segments on mental health during COVID.
Read about meQuestions and answers
Before you begin
Can Individual and Couples Therapy help after infidelity?
Individual and Couples Therapy can provide a structured place to discuss what happened, ask questions, understand recurring patterns, and consider what each partner wants next. I can explain how I work during a first consultation.
What if we keep having the same fight?
I can help you slow the cycle down and notice what each partner is expecting, protecting, or asking for underneath the visible argument. The work can then focus on practicing a clearer next conversation.
Do you work with same-sex couples?
Yes. I welcome same-sex couples and can discuss relationship concerns, infidelity, trust, communication, and other reasons a couple may want support.
Can we meet online from anywhere in California?
Yes. I provide secure online sessions for couples located across California. Use the consultation link to ask about current openings and learn more about working together.
A clear place to begin
What happens in your free 20-minute consultation
Tell me what you want to change
We will discuss what you'd like to work on and accomplish in therapy
I see if I'm a fit and map your first steps
You'll get a change to ensure you feel comfortable with me.
You decide, no pressure
You can take the next step when it feels right to you.
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Request a free 20-minute consultation
A few short questions help Lisa prepare for your first conversation.